Handling Mistakes

Knocked down six times?
Get up seven times!

-Japanese Proverb

How Amateurs Handle Mistakes

Well, they don’t. Instead, they start with the intention that everything about the presentation will be perfect (absolutely following their every fantasy – including the impeccable timing of the standing ovation…). Then comes the mistake, and their perfect crystalline fantasy shatters – shards flying in all directions…

Instead of just handling the mistake and moving on, the amateur spends the next few tortuous seconds watching the fantasy fall away with evident disappointment and shock. (Believe me, it’s just as hard for the audience…) Mourning the lost fantasy bleeds off tremendous energy and when the speaker becomes once again aware of the audience, it’s almost impossible to re-establish the connection and chemistry – the spell has been broken. So the speaker limps to a weak conclusion and slinks away – to the relief of all concerned. Of course, it’s hard to even contemplate getting up in front of an audience ever again.

All this stems from an impossibly high and completely irrational set of expectations. In reality, no presentation ever goes exactly as planned. Expecting perfection just sets up a disappointment.

How Pros Handle Mistakes

They expect them. They revel in their own human imperfection. They laugh at themselves and their mistakes. They recover well.

Pros know from experience that every presentation comes from the factory imperfect and complete with 2.5 mistakes. So they treat the mistakes the same as the rest of the presentation – by taking them in stride. A mistake is not a surprise, not a shock, not a failure – but a natural and to be expected part of the undertaking. So one handles it, resets, and moves ahead. No tears, no self-criticism, no distractions. No broken dreams. And no significant break in the lifeline connection with the listener.

The professional has a different set of expectations – totally rational. Mistakes, sometimes a few of them are a natural part of life. The professional will greet each one as an old friend, respond in the most lofty way, and perhaps include the audience in the experience. In doing so, they will exemplify true professionalism… maybe even greatness. The Pro is acting in stewardship of the audience. They are endlessly focused on the audience, and making sure that they get the best possible experience.

In contrast, the amateur – thinking only about themselves, tends to get thrown for a loss when the first mistake appears. They stop, and the inside critic redlines with an overflow of self-abnegation; completely destroying the flow and focus. The second mistake totally wipes them out! Why? Because the amateur is thinking about themselves, about how they want perfection – they can’t face having been human. Back to Concept One: It’s not about you. It’s about them!

Going Pro

It doesn’t happen overnight, or perfectly. It’s a growth process; with lots of mistakes, ups and downs. But first comes the attitude and the expectation. Nobody’s perfect. There will be tons of mistakes and setbacks on this road. But with each setback, you learn about the imperative – to remain present in the moment with an unbroken connection between you and the audience – enjoying the show together.

A simple formula for dealing with mistakes:

1. Notice it – with all its imperfections. Keep going! This is the simplest handling – for mistakes that only you will catch. For bigger challenges, resort to Steps 2 – 5. (You may not allow the audience to be “in” on this part.)

2. Stop talking and Fix It! (Full attention on putting it right. The audience will notice it now.)

3. Re-establish eye contact and pause momentarily while they all focus back on you – hold their glance.

4. Here’s where you make a choice: Either a small look back at the disaster, waiting for the laugh – or you comment on the boggle – and enjoy the joke at your own expense. At this point, the laughter and the applause are in sympathy with you – and you can rise and fly on their regard…A humble pro, rising above adversity and enjoying the slings and arrows of outrageous staging problems. This is where some players rise from ordinary performers to loved and respected Professionals.

5. Pick it up where you left off and take it to the finish!

Steps Two through Four are optional – depending on the magnitude of the mistake. Small mistakes are simply handled in stride. Big mistakes require the larger handling; and provide an opportunity for a larger gesture – a bigger save – with greater love from the appreciative audience.

We’ve known some conniving speakers to fake a mistake – in order to gain credit for their apparent “improvisational save.” We’re not impressed. Life hands out plenty of genuine opportunities to make the best of a situation on stage – and the true professional always makes the best of what fortune provides.

Think back on your life for a moment. Do you remember the steady, standard day-to-day flow of life; or the outrageous moments where something really big occurred? And the way you or someone else responded in a truly larger than life way? That’s our point: When Fortune hands you a big setback, it’s an opportunity for you to reach down and show a little greatness of spirit – and be remembered accordingly. Crashing reveals character!

Applications in Life or Presentations:

1. Personally:
How has this worked for you? Ever had a bad moment, and responded equally badly? Conversely, had a bad experience and risen above it? Seen someone rise from the ashes? Tell us your stories or comment on this post at http://www.thefusiongroup.com/blogs/lectern/

2. At Home:
One family member reacts badly to the flat tire, another responds with grace. With which one do you feel safe? Whom do you rely on for advice and counsel? It’s not just that some people respond to upset in a lofty way – it’s what they teach us about what is possible.

3. At the Office:
Johnny Carson for us epitomizes the style of self-effacing professionalism in the face of flopped jokes, unresponsive interviewees and staging faux pas. To put yourself in that class of play requires a life of dedication. Start by becoming familiar with your tools: What can you do with a felt pen? How about a flip chart? It’s one thing to be able to letter beautifully, but another to be able to reset the chart in spite of a bad setup. Can you find the power bar for the laptop, the Wi-Fi code for the meeting, or the on/off switch for the microphone? Can you laugh at yourself and provide us with a model?

It’s not whether you make a mistake. Of course you will! The real test is whether, and how gracefully you recover.

Knocked down six times? Amateur.
Get up seven times! Professional.
Get up with style and humility? Leader!

“The Only difference between a groove and a grave; is the depth.”

-Lena Horne
American Singer
(1917 – 2010)

You’re good! You’re in the groove and you know it! You may also sense that your groove is growing deeper. Have you been wondering if it’s time to get out of your comfort zone? This may be the time to “push it” instead of relaxing and “coasting out” your career.

Now – What?
So how is a seasoned, experienced, well-traveled professional supposed to move further ahead with their skills? There’s a paucity of ways to grow beyond “gross professionalism.” The University system isn’t designed to offer short term coaching; consultancies for the most part focus on research and prescription, not individual development. You’re already among the best in your field – but it’s a big field. Experience is an awesome teacher, but it takes forever. Creating genuine growth usually requires live, objective counsel, real-time coaching and behavior modeling. Where to get that?

Three Days with Bernstein
In the arts, certain elder practitioners are recognized as “Treasures” because their combination of skill, experience, repertoire and reputation place them in the rare class by themselves: “Master.” Most masters teach, but basics classes are for beginners. For both young prodigies and more experienced performers there’s something special: “The Master Class.” Conducted privately or in intimate groups, Master Classes are an opportunity for the old pro to watch, listen and advise younger players outside the realm of the formal course. (*See Dessert, below.) The benefit? It’s personal! And, you go until the desired result is achieved. It’s not a lecture, it’s real coaching and learning for real major league players, on a true one-to-one basis.

So, is there such a thing for business professionals? As a matter of fact, yes!
The Master Class from Fusion.

How it Works
You bring what you’re working on, the business problem at hand; and we work on it together. Maybe it’s a problem of how you see yourself. Perhaps it’s a problem with focus. Maybe you need to push into using props or visual aids. Maybe you can solve your issue by learning to use the room effectively rather than being stuck behind the lectern. In many cases, a client discovers that what worked for them as a young comer, doesn’t sit so well on the senior professional they’ve become – perhaps “relaxing into seniority” is a solution. The Master Class is not so much “being taught,” as much as it’s about allowing the Master to help you see your challenge in an objective light, and discover your own unique solution.

Before your groove becomes grave, consider the Master Class at Fusion. We also offer a Master Class exclusively for Chief Executives, called The Executive Speaker…

So, what’s your next step? Find out more – give us a call at 800-866-2228.

*Dessert:

Enjoy this 15 minute video of Leonard Bernstein “conducting” a Master Class in Conducting at Tanglewood Music Center. A straight-forward and easy to understand teacher, Bernstein was certainly nothing less than a stellar talent in composing, conducting, performing and teaching: indeed a 20th Century Modern Master. Here he teaches Conductors how to conduct…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q38ZLodjvwg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

“We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return, we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and ’round and ’round
In the Circle Game.”

* Planets orbit the sun in this solar system – and the Milky Way. There’s something natural about it.

* Comic Mark Twain did it in his day, with the last joke of the lecture gaining strength from its reference to those that went before. The last line bringing down the house as it re-used the introduction again as a concluding punch line.

* Music – well that’s where this circle thing really lives – three verses, each separated by a repeated chorus which then concludes the piece with a last reprise.

* Airplanes launch from a runway, then return to land – right spot on the same piece of tarmac – all to the greater comfort of the passengers.

* Storytellers take comfort in the time-honored tradition of the hero riding up Main Street into town at the beginning, then riding off down Main Street at the end into the final western sunset. It’s not a bad thing if a story ends with a bad guy in jail, and a happy hero; but it’s more satisfying if all the cycles are complete and the music rises as Shane rides off shadowed against the final western sunset…

It may have occurred to you that speakers may take instruction from these other specialties by incorporating the circle technique as well. Great speakers use the circle by telling an opening story, then a splitting of aspects of the story to introduce each agenda item, then circle around through the summary and finish the conclusion by referencing that opening statement – now as the close. We have nothing against a straightforward ABC argument, but there’s a moment when an artful speaker makes a solid argument, then clinches it by referring back to his opening – and the listeners feel a sense of more-perfect completion as the presentation circles around and lands right spot on the place from which it launched, 20 minutes earlier. Around our shop, we judge a presentation to be a real winner when it does that “all around the argument and back to starting point thing” in the most artful way. And it’s better yet if the listeners don’t see it coming. A little restraint let’s them catch on slowly – and prolongs their excitement and appreciation. So you could say that when the circle technique works, the beginning and the end “Rhyme” and the audience goes “Ahhh!”

OK, you say; “So how do I build in that circular thing after I’ve already written the darned presentation?” Do I go back and re-write the opening after all that work?” Well actually, No! The thing is – the technique appears really hard – but isn’t.

The natural tendency is to start at the beginning. We think, however, that it might be more effective to start at the end and work backward. It sounds peculiar, but you actually begin by composing the next step – the end – then the main idea. Then the agenda, etc., until the very last thing you’re working on is the opening. So you don’t write the opening while wondering about the end. You write the ending, and work backwards up the structure until your final task is to carefully fashion the opening so that it points unerringly to the end – right down Main Street into the final western sunset.

The short answer: “Begin by composing the end. End by composing the beginning.”

“The whole universe is based on rhythms. Everything happens in circles, in spirals.”
-John Hartford

Well he’s a musician of course – one of the great country banjo pickers – and he’s got a point. The universe is constructed in concentric circles and its got rhythm. So why not “relax into bliss” and go with it? If the circle thing works in the physical universe, why not then in the realm of speaking as well? We find that it’s one thing to end a presentation, but it’s better to give it a “sense of completion.” If your presentation is not merely logical, but lyrical as well; you and your audience can win on all levels – and it rhymes.

1. Personally
There may be more to this circle thing than initial inspection might suggest. What if it’s not just circles, but cycles as well? What if your day is composed of circular cycles of action? Stay with me here… Have you ended a job, without returning a tool to its proper place? Finished a meal without clearing the dishes? Put down a book without getting to the end and storing it on the shelf? All broken circles – incomplete cycles. No sense of completion. Get the idea that incomplete cycles may not kill you, but they take up mental real estate, and get in the way of clear thinking – too much mental clutter. It’s hard enough to compose a presentation. We suggest clearing away the unfinished cycles and start fresh.

2. At Home
The kids and the family are a built in audience – not dying for a story perhaps, but open to a pleasant surprise. Imagine the fun and the emotional dividend involved in telling a great story – especially one that goes full circle and touches down where it lifted off. Get extra credit for pulling some of the colorful details from the lives of your own family… Thanksgiving is on the way. Get started now…

3. At Work
Use the Circle to your team’s advantage next time you pitch. Relating your next step back to the opening in a lyrical way may be the distinction that sets you apart from all your competitors.

Going in circles can be sheer frustration. But coming round full circle brings with it that sense of more perfect completion. Days full of meetings with logical, workmanlike presentations may seem more like going round and round and round. When you get the opportunity, take your chance to stand out by moving your presentation, your team, your family or your clients from merely logical all the way round to lyrical! You can all Win the Circle Game!

Dessert

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0762RAFDz4

“Here and Now” (Meditations on Procrastination)
Ellen DeGeneres
*Lebanese Comic and Talk Show Host

(Grant yourself an hour vacation and watch a master at work. In this four segment routine she goes off and comes back – full circle – with a slow and steady build which concludes right spot on, where it began. She doesn’t bring the house down, as much as she takes the house with her – no swearing, no darkness, no anger, no venom – a soft comic who simply romances everyone into a gentle good time. She also demonstrates a powerful point about today’s concept: “Circularity…”)

(*Ms. DeGeneres might not actually be Lebanese…)

“Once you start thinking this way, it’s really hard to switch it off.”

-Fusion Participant

What if there was a discipline, simple really, that would direct our communication practice?

It has three parts;
1. Establish an Objective
2. Analyze the Audience
3. Organize your Remarks

Call it a “Preparation Discipline.”

Give it a name, “Ready, Set, Go!®”

This discipline involves a certain amount of Creative Restraint. Before writing anything down, we must first put our attention on the outcome we hope to achieve – the action we want our audience to take. Then we lavish a lot of thought, research and care on discovering why our listeners might take that action.

Only then do we begin putting the presentation together. Since we’ve determined the outcome and the reason our audience will do what we’re asking, putting the work into a retell-able structure is comparatively simple. It’s easier to compose something if you know where it ends and how it has to get there… Since we use the same format for every presentation, we begin to build the habits which evolve into the discipline of a lifetime – a “template” for communication. Why a template? Because people are hard-wired for stories and parts – usually three parts. Why fight it? (Consider Goldilocks and the — Bears.) Some may think a template is rigid…actually it’s a visual roadmap for your listeners to follow that allows you the flexibility to engage with the audience – and stay on track.

Of course, not all communication is outcome focused. So this approach doesn’t apply to sonnets or love notes – unless… But business is about getting results, through a listener, who needs to be convinced and will recall and repeat your message.

The deep truth is it’s not about what you want to say, it’s really about what the listener, the sales force, management, the customer or the jury needs to hear and conclude in order to decide in your favor. It’s about results, not self-expression. If they only remember you and not your presentation, it wasn’t a success.

Many people are so married to the importance of their own worldview, that they go an entire career, still telling and talking – and wondering why they didn’t get the big promotion or the landslide victory…Perhaps if they had adopted a process…?

Now, the point.

Some of the questions we’ve received over the years…

Hey. “Ready, Set, Go!” is wonderful, but how should I prepare to run a meeting?

Hello. “Ready, Set, Go!” is great for presentations. Now help me plan a National Sales event.

Hi. “Ready, Set, Go!” works great. What do you suggest for setting up a conference call?

Greetings! “Ready, Set, Go!” is terrific. I’m working on a resume and a cover letter. Any ideas?

We don’t wish to oversimplify, but to our mind each of these applications is a perfect venue for the basic discipline of “Ready, Set, Go!”

The National Sales Meeting is a local or regional meeting writ LARGE. Often, these meetings lack a focused outcome. We believe the meeting planning should begin by asking these questions: “What do you want the guys to do when they are back in the territory?” “What information do they need, what training is required, what team building do they need – and what marching orders – in order to get started Monday morning?” There’s your agenda… Three days, three hours or thirty minutes, the presentation still breaks into chunks, and still needs tailoring to the audience. It’s still “Ready, Set, Go!”

Let’s not belabor the point.  The Conference Call, the Resume, the Voicemail Message, the Letter and the White Paper are all examples of communication that yield to the one discipline of “Ready, Set, Go!”  In each case, you’re either making a clear concise argument for a specific outcome – or – not.  Perhaps we don’t need to look so far afield for a new and different set of tools.  Maybe we simply need to look at the tools we already have and put them to work.

Applications

In your personal life: Are you getting the intended results from your communication? Does the auto mechanic have a clear understanding when you expect the car to be ready?  Is there agreement on what “ready” really means?

In your family: How is your communication with your family?  Could it be better?  Before having an important conversation with a family member, first consider the intended outcome.  Then analyze your audience to tailor the conversation to aging parents, teens or a significant other.

At the office: Are you using “Ready, Set, Go!” in all communications?  Meetings, emails, voicemails?  If not, dust off the pad and create your next communication in “Ready, Set, Go!”

“Ready, Set, Go!” is a tool.  Using it is a discipline.

“Once you start thinking this way, it’s really hard to switch it off.”

“Ready, Set, Go!®” and the Box Diagram are registered trademarks of The Fusion Group, Ltd.

“Pain is temporary. Pride is forever!”

While we might legitimately spend this column celebrating our President’s weekend accomplishment in finishing the NYC Marathon; we’ve decided instead to honor all the runners, their families and support teams, and the rest of you reading this by directing our focus to the “Power of Intention.”

Intention: Desire Made Manifest
Two girls; one job. One sends a xeroxed resume in a plain envelope with a generic cover letter. The other analyzes the prospect company, Googles the executives doing the hiring and checks backgrounds on LinkedIn. She writes a tailored letter, outlining her desires and qualifications, but only after talking about how she sees the needs of the company and how she’d like to help. She puts it down on carefully selected paper in a custom font, putting her style, desire and analytical skills out there on the line. Who wins? Not sure, but one of them earned a greater share of our attention. Intention is Desire Made Manifest. Speaker or sales person, you’ll find that the extra time spent rehearsing your delivery, polishing your signature, finishing out an extra special opening are all ways of demonstrating the degree of desire to be heard and understood. Content is one thing, but the intention to really engage and penetrate the listener’s mind separates the ones who win from those who are merely smart.

Intention: Senior to Sensation
A marathon is not an everyday event.Even for those exceptionally trained and experienced runners, there comes a point where the body says No!, the mind starts fabricating believable explanations about how stopping is the right thing to do, and how humoring the muscle pains working their way up from the tarmac, through the legs into the mind might make sense.But then, the spirit checks in and says, “Hold on, we’re not here to humor the whining muscles, but to finish what we started!” Somewhere in the last third of the race, we discover that while physical sensations and strategies are important, it is pure unadulterated desire made manifest – Intention – that hurls the body through the last miles and across the finish line. The intention to perform is senior to and can outweigh any momentary sensation of fatigue, fear, or doubt. So you’re a speaker. What do you want to achieve with this presentation or sales call? How badly do you want it? Can you take it beyond the message all the way into the outcome?

Teams: Fired Up From The Center
Finishing a marathon requires that families awaken with the runner, who leaves the household in the outrageous early morning, finishes ever longer training runs, and gets to work after a quick shower. It’s a team thing – and it all starts with the deep intention of the runner at the center of the sphere of committed energy which grows for a year or more in advance of the event, builds to the climax, and ends with the success of a single runner, crossing the line. At the finish is one runner; in the wings are entire families, office supporters and sponsors. It begins with you, but your excitement, desire and intention are required to put the fire in the belly of the team.  As a leader or manager, it’s not enough to have the big idea; or even to sign the check to cover a training program for the masses. The fire won’t ignite without your week in/week out demonstration of the intention that you’re still interested, committed and holding yourself accountable – along with everyone on the team.

A lot of people express an interest in running a marathon.  Few enter.  Fewer finish.  It’s about intention.

A lot of businesses express interest in creating winning sales teams, and integrating story, product and service.  Intention is the difference.

Sustained Intention is what distinguishes mere desire from manifest accomplishment.

Pain is Temporary.  Pride is Forever!

Last weekend, Lucy Lanzar, tireless President of The Fusion Group, finished the NYC Marathon with a time of 4:56:00. Congratulations to Lucy, and to her community of dedicated supporters.

“I was on the subway on my way to work, was sitting on the express same as every morning looking out the window watching the local stops go by in the dark with an empty head and my arms folded, not feeling great, not feeling rotten, just not feeling. And for a minute I couldn’t remember, I didn’t know, unless I really concentrated, whether it was a Tuesday or a Thursday or a… for a minute it could have been any day.

Arnie, I gotta know what day it is! I gotta know what’s the name of the game and what the rules are without anyone else telling me.You gotta own your own days and name ‘em, each one of ‘em, every one of ‘em, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you. And that ain’t just for weekends, kiddo.”

- Murray Burns (played by Jason Robards)
“A Thousand Clowns”
Oscar Nominated Movie and Tony Award Winning Broadway Play
by Herb Gardner
1962

When people enter a room these days so enraptured with their Blackberry; they don’t really notice or connect with the moment, the meeting in which they are barely engaged, the building, the business housed in it, the room in which they are sitting, the walls which hold the art they are not noticing, or the people with whom they aren’t sharing the space…

Much of life is conducted with the body in one location, the mind somewhere else; and the spirit experiencing a deep malaise. “Zoning Out” is not a bad thing necessarily, but it can rob us of the opportunity to be fully connected to life, the present, the moment, the place and our immediate feelings and responses.

People in airports walk around heads down… not noticing or participating in the shared space, but communing with the Gods of Cyberspace. It’s a cool place, cyberspace. But have we gone so far in search of constant and instant entertainment, that we have lost touch with “The Now?”

The universe of which I constitute a small part is one big interconnected living system. Wherever I find myself, there’s an opportunity for a “happenstance event.”  I meet someone by accident that turns out to be a big influence on my life.  I overhear a conversation that changes my perspective on an event.  I encounter a humorous server – or a cranky one that needs a big tip… A fellow traveler helps me hoist a bag into the overhead – but only if I’m paying attention… These “random occurrences” might not lodge if I’m not “firmly enough seated” in the moment.  If my mind is somewhere else, it’s difficult for the universe to manifest a meaningful happenstance.

See?  Right there – two rows over, that’s the girl!  Your one true love!  Pull out the ear buds!  Reach for her!  Nope you missed her!  She was sending an e-mail…

Moral of the story: There may be more for you in the universe than you’ve come to know; but you have to be more completely present with body, mind and spirit aligned, engaged and poised to pick up on it when the magic moment arrives.  People who are otherwise engaged – are not engaged…

Suggestions about becoming fully present in the space and time in which you find yourself:

1. Start by Noticing Yourself!

Breathe! “Breathe in a circle” as opposed to in/out.  Allow the body to relax into a cycle of calm as you open up to the moment.  Slow down and connect… Push your awareness out to the corners of the room.  Turn off and stow the Blackberry/phone/computer.  The meeting is about to begin.

2. Notice: What’s happening…

What’s this seminar/meeting about?  Is it gonna work?  Should I be here – or get back on the road? Is there any wisdom here?  Is there any fun lurking around the corner?  Is the facilitator sharp or can they use some help?  Is the speaker a pro, or something less? Is there any meaning to be discovered in the content?  Walk around the office, and get a sense of what the place is about.  So is this experience going to succeed on its own, or should you jump in and make it better through your presence and commitment?  What can you do to make this gathering (and the next one) better?

3. Notice: Who’s in the room!?

Is there anyone in the room who can help your career?  Who has seen something you’d like to know about?  Who knows someone you should meet?  Who can teach you something?  Who knows something you should know?  Who has any insight into how life works?  Who can you help?  Who can you serve?  How can you make their day better through your presence?

4. Notice: What’s in the room!? Notice the Room!

Is there anything in the room of any interest to you?  Is there anything there worth owning, acquiring, finding out about?  Is there any art?  Why?  What does it mean?  Where’s it from?  How’d they acquire it?  How’s the Feng Shui?  Is there a particular seat or part of the room in which you feel more comfortable?  Or not?  What would you change?  Why?  How?

5. Finish: by forming the mental question, “Why am I here?”  What’s the cosmic event that I am here to witness?  How can I play my role in this moment?

Active Awareness means Being Fully Present in the moment, ready to accept or contribute something meaningful.

If you “show up” like this (Body, Mind and Spirit) in your daily life, you’ll not only see that girl when she appears, you’ll have the big smile she’s been looking for all her life!

And that ain’t just for weekends, kiddo!

Visiting a professor of Tai Chi, hoping not to break some ancient Taiwanese taboo, I decided to apologize in advance for any “ugly American” idiocy over lunch.  “Excuse me Master, I want to be a good guest, and I’m very aware of just how foreign I might seem – all white hair, blue eyes and Yankee-ness.  Aside from being from Mars, would you please tell me if I’m doing something off base and impolite?”

He lingered for a moment, contemplating his soup bowl, and then said, “Jennifer, a Taoist prefers an authentic guest.”

Wow. Forgiveness, permission and a lesson in one sentence.

Perhaps there’s a connection between the way I was thinking in Taiwan and the way many view the world of training.  At issue, the desire to avoid embarrassment by not doing anything wrong.  It appears that traditional training is founded on the desire to make people “look like good speakers by correcting bad habits” – a core intention – which we believe to be misguided, wasteful and destructive.  At the risk of redundancy, it’s one thing to “look like” a good speaker; quite another to actually be a good speaker.

Most training, with its concern about grinding away all the preexisting bad habits and producing a smooth, inoffensive exterior; manufactures a product that isn’t bad.  Yet enforcing all the rules and backing people into a safe mold, produces an outcome that is not yet good and absolutely isn’t genuine.  Such training yields a person without any obvious bad habits, who can talk for a while on a business subject while behaving in a bland, safe and normal manner.  They will not offend anyone.  So if your definition of good is “the Absence of Bad” then this is your ticket.  But in reality, the absence of bad simply equates to ordinary.  Attempting to become ordinary, average or safe doesn’t strike us as a great accomplishment.  Such an individual, while safe and inoffensive, is still a loser.

We look at it this way: the combination of habits and behaviors someone brings to the platform are an expression of who they are, what they know, and how they see the world and their contribution to it.  Telling them to stand differently only addresses the physical part of the equation.  If you ask them what they intend to express – or accomplish – by speaking; you engage the whole being.  As they start engaging fully, their posture improves, along with their language and eye contact.  The bad stuff falls away as they connect body and spirit through mind. Fusion.  Sure, we can contribute helpful learnings about structure, argumentation and the artful use of visual aids and props.  But the real magic is when we get someone to be authentic.  And authenticity (even without polish) wins!  Winners are not known for their lack of badness, but for putting you in touch with their special, unusual and authentic worldview.  Their goal – and ours – is not safety, but greatness.

So why “force” everyone into a three-box template?  Fair question.  (Of course, we suggest two, three or four…)  But remember, we’re not saying you must, but that audiences seem to prefer lists of two, three or four… after that, they zone out.  So what do you intend for them to do, what’s the best way to accomplish that with the audience of human beings at hand?  Short, sweet, well structured and delivered with every ounce of creativity and desire you can muster!  Don’t worry about offending!  Concentrate on being an authentic guest, and you’ll win the day!

- J. R. St. John
Speaker, Consultant, Business Woman
Founder of The Fusion Group
(1952 – )

In this environment, where the news constantly brings word of another confusing or polarizing development, it’s not surprising that audiences can many times be characterized as “frozen by fear and indecision.”

A sad by-product of our mentally bifurcated culture is that we often find speakers and sales associates attempting to erase or address our fears by citing facts.  Why?  Well because it’s what they’re good at.

As any mother can tell you; when the children are afraid is not the time to prove that there’s no monster in the closet. What is called for is some old fashioned comfort and genuine interested listening!

You say you’re a wholesaler and you’re not being paid to stop and listen or empathize – but simply to talk; then get on the road to the next appointment.  Really?

Because the fact is: Your clients can get your information just about anywhere.  The mail. The Web. The Media. But the single thing they can’t get anywhere else is a genuinely interested partner – listening full tilt.

Give a little thought to this: What’s in the boxes is important – it’s the main reason for speaking.  But what you put in between the boxes (the “empty space” between the facts…) is what can set you apart from the competition; and allow the client to see you as the only person out there willing to connect with and resolve their fears.

– Excerpted from “Death of a Salesman”
by Arthur Miller
American Playwright
  (October 17, 1915 – February 10, 2005)

“Pay Attention!” You hear it from Childhood.

“Look at me when I talk to you!”

The phrases don’t do the concept justice.

Attention is a little bit like money.  It comes in the form of particles…which are very valuable.  You can spend them.  Withhold them.  Make a gift of them.  Keep them for important occasions.  Or waste them – much like money.  There are limits though, to how many attention particles you might generate at any moment…So they are rare – special!

Catch someone unaware and send a particle at them – look!  And they’ll feel it and look back, startled.  They might react, smile, blush, flinch, duck, bristle…the opportunities are endless.  They feel the weight of the particle and respond/react to it.  And their reaction tells the tale of their character and their immediate state of mind.

Attention particles have flavors – as many as you can conceive.  Interest.  Curiosity.  Desire.  Distaste.  Fear.  Anger.  Lust.  Disinterest.  Appreciation.  Trust.  You get the idea.

Ever spoken to a group?  Get keyed up?  It’s all those particles – takes a while to absorb them and then calm down.  It’s a “high” that all performers acknowledge.  The power of group attention (and we hope, adulation) can change your physical state and raise your metabolism.

It’s just that strong.

So.  What?

Notice how you are spending your rare attention particles.

Are your children getting their share?  How about your mate?  How about your office or patrol partner?  People in your platoon, on your floor, on your team?

People who are “attentive” are “attending” to the human need and desire for attention among families, friends and communities.  “Paying Attention” is a powerful way of saying that the person you are looking at is important.

Spend it wisely.

As a speaker, manager, sales professional or leader, your attention signature will be an immediate indicator as to your power and charisma – or lack thereof.  The ability to focus and direct the flow of attention particles anywhere, anytime, for any duration is one feature that distinguishes the most formidable speakers and people.

Attention must be paid.

Invest it wisely.

It will be repaid – with interest.

– Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen “The Boss”
American Songwriter, Performer, Rock & Roll Star
(September 23, 1949 – )

“Speeches” are a bit more declarative.  Plays more dominated by the script.  Presentations more work and outcome focused.  But all are at their best when they become conversations.

But it’s not really about call and response – we’ve all sat through rote unison reading and responsive hoo-hah.  This is the real thing: When a speaker says something and looks out into the audience and divines the direction and emotion of the last row…it’s not about the verbal response but about the connection.

The real skill a great presenter brings to the arena is the speed with which they can take the conversation to depth.

In our judgment, that skill is comprised of a solid connection, a clear intention and a lofty purpose.  It’s a Fusion of body, mind and spirit.

Bring this skill into your life by breaking your paragraphs down and delivering the sentences one at a time – taking a breath in between.  See what happens.  If you garner some interest, continue.  If you get a question, that’s a win!  You gain points in this exercise by stimulating the interchange.  As your skill improves, you’ll discover that you become interesting to the degree you manifest interest in the listener.

Stop presenting, acting, declaiming and airing your point of view and start a few more conversations!