Cracking the Code

“You, who are on the road; must have a code that you can live by.
And so, become yourself because the past is just a goodbye.
Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by.
And feed them on your dreams, the one’s they picked, the one’s you’ll know by.”

“Teach Your Children”
Crosby, Stills and Nash
Déjà Vu

You’re behind schedule this morning.  It’s raining.  Your partner’s in a bad mood.  She bites.  You bite back…  Times like this, one reverts to what’s easiest…  You pull on your socks, growl, gather your goods, get out the door and into heavy traffic.  The blue Camry cuts you off and flashes a digital high sign.  You pass that along double to the white Audi and the Ford behind him.  Arriving at work, you’re wearing the imprint of all that.  So when your boss calls you in — well, you let him have it!  He deserves it; pompous ass…

Life hits, you hit back.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.  What’s easiest?  Welcome to life at the lowest common denominator.

It may be what’s easiest, but it may not be for the best…  Such mornings, such days mount up — and they become the defining standard of our lives.  Each of those reactions is a choice.  But one which we make perhaps without sufficient attention.  Our life becomes the sum of a thousand/thousand “easiest choices.”

People (and computers) run on “codes.”  In people, they are often the sum of conflicting teaching (programming) attempts from family, school, sports and church — many times so long ago that they are nearly forgotten, almost unconscious.  Our “easy choices” are simply instances of acting out our codes…  And unfortunately, many of us live in “ethical drift” from unconscious choice to unconscious choice.  Your code is demonstrated by your choices…  and the life you have is a function of the code you follow.

But what is the “Code” by which we make these instant “easiest” judgement calls?  What’s the standard?  What’s the invisible, unexamined compass against which we chart our daily course — which over time — defines our life?  That “standard” may be hard to articulate at first, because we’re not often called upon to define or describe “our ethical standard, our moral compass, our individual code of conduct.”  It’s in there, but perhaps murky…

A 2013 NY Times article provides this interesting commentary: A Boston area crime figure on trial described his “Code.”  He might have been a criminal, but “the Code forbids the killing of women.  And, being an informant is totally unacceptable.”  Hey, even a crook has a code… Our challenge in building individual character, teams, families and companies is to discover, reveal, mold maybe even uplift that code so that it becomes something that explicitly connects us and raises the standard by which we make our daily “easiest choices.”

“Ethics” is most simply defined as the “Study of Human Values.”  No help there…  Everyone has values, therefore everyone is “ethical” so everyone — literally everyone — has “a Code.”  But once again, what kind of values?  To reveal the character and truly know the person, you must first crack the code!  To begin, take it out of childhood memory, out of the basement and write it down.  What do you stand for?  Start by making your “Code” explicit!  Then you have something to work with.

Don’t keep your code in the basement.  Bring it up and make it known.  Codes are makeable, breakable, and subject to discussion and alteration.  Everyone who ever made an “Honor Pledge, A Pinky Swear, or Swore a Blood Oath” knows how “shared codes” connect people and establish the basis for a relationship.  Secret Societies, Clubs, Fraternal Orders, School Marching Bands, the Bar, the Military, the Police, Medical and Governmental communities all have “codes and pledges” at their centers.

One of the fascinations of getting to know new people or joining a new organization is in trying to “crack their codes” so you can discover their character and surely navigate the internal landscape.  “Crack the code, and you’ll reveal the person.”

Applications

1. Individually
Start by examining your own codes and standards.  (This might require a little digging.)  Is there a “Scout Promise or Law” still operating in the basement of your ethical structure?  Bring it out in the light and see if it lines up with that college fraternal pledge, a professional license standard or your religious commitments.  Codes, oaths and pledges are the “software” that influence all of our “easiest choices.”  Get your differing codes aligned and more explicit; then watch as the pace and consistency of your decisions improve.

2. At Home
In the Fifties, television began to take a share of child raising from church, family and school.  The World of Disney and the Code of the West assisted parents as they attempted to guide kids in distinguishing right from wrong and good guys from bad.  (Remember those days?)  Today, the internet and social media have made dramatic incursions.  Family, religion, and school continue to lose ground as it has become a very complex world.  Yet, parents and family are still the primary source for the code, the standard, and the shared values that carry children forward, through the forest of contemporary culture.  Ask yourself, “What code am I propounding with my example?”

3. At the Office
Wow.  Where to start?  One segment of the world feeds on another, as we all seem to be looking for an opportunity to eat someone else’s lunch.  Few people actually go to trial in a “Pay for Justice (or to avoid it) Marketplace.”  “Steal a Profit and Avoid the Lawsuit!” seems to be the operant standard.  It’s a world without enough explicit shared agreements about what defines a meaningful ethical standard.  There’s a dearth of lofty, ethical leadership.  Yet, the one individual who starts the discussion, (quietly, and perhaps carefully at first) may be the one we choose to follow — even from firm to firm.  You might become that one.  Maybe it’s worth a weekend away with your team.  Start small and create a revolution.

 
Final Thoughts:

• Life is the sum of a thousand/thousand “easiest choices” — based on an internal, and perhaps not-recently-examined set of values — an “Internal Code.”
• To truly know yourself, another person, a teammate or a company, you have to “crack their code.”
• To be a serious and effective leader, you have to create, demonstrate, align and enforce the codes for your gang.

 
Teach your children well!

 
Dessert:  The New York Times Coverage of Boston Criminal Figure Whitey Bulger, “Even a Crook has a Code”

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